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The other day, I was scrolling through Instagram stories when I noticed a trend: guys posting their Strava paces and tagging each other to join in. The challenge was a run for Men’s Mental Health. A cause they were proudly promoting.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am fully in support of mental health awareness and that includes men. I understand that many men struggle to reach out, that support doesn’t just fall out of the sky and that stigma can silence them. But something about this particular wave of activism didn’t sit right with me.
“The same men now parading as mental health advocates are often the first to laugh at a guy for crying.”
Was it the fact that many of the guys jumping to the challenge are the same ones known for disrespecting others? That some of them regularly repost misogynistic videos? Was it knowing that if a woman ran for a female-focused cause, those same guys might mock her, say we’re always complaining? Was it the knowledge that some of them have spread nudes, taken advantage of drunk girls, or vandalised homes? Or was it that these same men, now parading as mental health advocates, are often the first to laugh at a guy for crying? To call it gay? To label vulnerability as weakness?
Men are often quick to use their struggles as a shield. Saying things like, “I had no choice but to suppress my emotions because of what society expects of me as a man,” while in the same breath denying the existence of the patriarchy or claiming, “The patriarchy is what breeds innovation and human evolution.” What they fail to see is that the very system they defend so passionately is the same one that is hurting them.
Men have it easy
It’s a common misconception that men are automatically “winning” under the patriarchy. While they do benefit in many ways compared to women, the system still fails to support the average working-class man. The men’s mental health crisis is a clear example of this structural failure, yet many people don’t realize it’s rooted in the same rigid societal norms that shape all of us.
“That lack of education and awareness? It’s killing you.”
Each year, over 700,000 men die by suicide. In the U.S., male suicide rates are four times higher than those of women, and in countries like Japan and South Korea, the numbers are even more alarming. So why are men dying at such disproportionately high rates? Studies point to financial hardship, societal pressure to appear strong, difficulty seeking help, and substance abuse. All symptoms of a culture that punishes vulnerability and idolises stoicism.
So, if this system is so clearly damaging men in irreversible and excruciating ways, why are we still afraid to call out the generational issue at hand? Why are the same men seeking mental health support also consuming red pill content that glorifies masculinity as control, dominance, and emotional suppression?
The answer is simple: a lack of education, and a lack of real awareness. And that lack is killing you.
Men are natural born leaders
Just today, one of my best friends told me about a conversation she had with her boyfriend. She said, “If women were in charge, there would be no wars.” And whilst he agreed, he also added, “Yeah, but the economy would be shit.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a comment like that from a man. It’s part of a much wider, insidious narrative that assumes men are naturally better at handling “logical” problems like the economy. While women are only suited to emotional, human-centric issues, like peace.
“Well, isn’t the economy already shit?”
My response is always: “Well, isn’t the economy already shit?”
Are we not living in a world where the minimum wage barely covers rent and groceries? Where buying a home feels like a fairytale, not a future? Where millions of people work full-time and still live in poverty? And who is in charge by overwhelming majority? Men.
I am not claiming that women are the real natural born leaders and are inherently better than men. It’s about questioning why leadership is still disproportionately reserved for a specific gender and more often, a specific class. Leadership should be based on wisdom, empathy, and the ability to uplift a community. Not entitlement, power, or inherited privilege. Yet, far too often, men enter leadership roles not because they are the most capable, but because they were told it’s their birthright.
Why is your precious economy f*cked?
If you think the economy, capitalism, and war are unrelated to patriarchy, you’re either in denial, afraid to confront the truth, or have simply never been taught how these systems are intertwined. Because they are. These systems don’t just operate independently. They feed off of each other.
“The patriarchy doesn’t serve men. It uses them.”
Capitalism relies on hierarchy. It thrives on competition, not collaboration. It tells us our worth is tied to productivity and profit. And in a patriarchal system, this hierarchy places men (particularly wealthy, white men) at the top, while everyone else fights for scraps.
War is a consequence of this system. It’s not just about territorial disputes but also about protecting economic interests, often at the expense of innocent lives. Patriarchy glorifies violence as strength and discourages emotional intelligence as weakness. Therefore, justifying destruction in the name of power.
And the economy? It’s been molded by a system that values growth over well-being, consumption over sustainability, and profit over people. The result? A mental health crisis that’s ravaging men just as much as it’s hurting women.
Young men are dying by suicide in staggering numbers. Men discouraged from feeling, from expressing vulnerability, from asking for help. They’re pushed into roles of providers, protectors and breadwinners. Roles created by a system that doesn’t actually care whether they survive, let alone thrive. They’re promised power, yet many of them feel powerless.
Because the patriarchy doesn’t serve men. It uses them.
Is the system broken? Or working exactly as planned?
So the question isn’t just, “Is the system broken?”
The real question is: “Is the system working exactly as it was designed to?”
“It benefits from our silence. It benefits from our exhaustion.”
Because when you look around. When you see women silenced, men suffering, entire generations disillusioned, and billionaires hoarding wealth while basic human needs go unmet. You start to wonder whether this isn’t some kind of accident, but the intended outcome.
A system that keeps us uneducated, overworked, underpaid, and disconnected from each other is a system that benefits from our silence.
It benefits from our exhaustion.
It benefits from us believing that this is just the way things are.
Not about blame
I guess I felt unsettled about this sudden push for Men’s Mental Health, not because I don’t support it, but because I know many of the people spreading “awareness” aren’t actually aware at all. They don’t realise that when women say “death to the patriarchy,” they aren’t saying “death to all men.” They don’t see that the women they call “complainers” are the same women fighting not only for basic human rights for themselves, but for a world where men are allowed to be vulnerable. Where men are allowed to be human.
“This isn’t women versus men. It’s humans versus patriarchy.”
Patriarchy isn’t a person. It doesn’t feel. It has no gender. It’s a system. This isn’t women versus men. It’s humans versus patriarchy. And if men could begin to understand that no one is trying to strip them of power, that feminism actually offers a gentler, freer way of existing then maybe then we’d move closer to peace.
Men might not become feminists for the sake of women. But maybe they’ll get there when they realise what feminism has to offer them too.
Cate Danielle
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