She’s So Cool

Oh to be named “cool”.

To hear the guy you like describe you as “chill”. 

It doesn’t matter that you toned down your personality to cater to his emotions or that you didn’t react at all. 

Because “She’s so cool” is a far better result than “She’s so crazy”.

You’ve seen the way people tear down the “crazy” girl. 

The girl who reacts with confidence and assertion rather than compliance and kindness. 

None of the boys want to date her. The girls are friends with her but only when no guys are around. People say she is unpredictable. That speaking to her is like walking on eggshells. That at any minute she could explode and cause a scene. 

She is not “cool”. 

Yet, you’re jealous of her.

Jealous of her strength. Jealous that she couldn’t care less about being called “crazy” or “bossy”. You’re jealous because deep down you are thinking, “she’s so cool”. 

You and your friends know she isn’t crazy. That she is just a girl with boundaries. She is a  girl that won’t confine herself to the prison society places her in.

And while everyone is trying to make the prison feel like home by talking to the walls in a sweet tone and laughing at the guards’ offensive jokes.

She is planning her escape. 

You know that all the inmates can’t escape through the small tunnel she has dug for herself. 

So instead you spend each day ensuring that those prison guards are met with smiles and resignation. Because maybe one day you might make them happy enough to let you go. 

Teach Me To Hear